Setting the Stage for Kindness… Christine McDonald
Continuing the series… If you are an outreach person or a drop–in center worker and have random encounters, it will take many encounters with the same person to build a relationship of trust. Here is a guide and process you can go through at the intake stage that will help set the stage for an organic relationship of kindness.
You are building a relationship organically and verbally, recognizing that they are hurting by offering tissues, water, and maybe special treats that aren’t usually readily available to them. They are seeing you show acts of compassion and kindness. Ask them if they would like to take five minutes before you move on in order to eat or drink and just allow them to breathe. Ask them if they would like you to leave the room for a few minutes, or if they would like you to stay.
Instead of leading off with hugs, try loving the hurting individual by serving them with kindness and a bit of hospitality. For example, you could lead with, “I understand this is difficult; may I get you a cup of tea? Soda?” Keep candy bars in your desk, in a bag, in your car, or in your purse for times like these. A little chocolate, a cup of tea, and a box of tissues can go a long way in helping the person have their space and be allowed to feel what they are experiencing.
Conversations
Don’t force conversations. Instead, ask them after you have given them some time if they would like to talk about anything. Fight the urge to engage further. After all, at this moment of the intake, you are just getting them to open up to a relationship. Don’t force things too early. Don’t probe to get them to talk just because you have a heart that wants to help and is ready to listen. They might not be ready to talk. Although your heart may hurt, you are going to have to fight the urge to hug them and tell them it will be okay. Just remember we are setting the stage for an organic relationship built by the participant, not filling your need to hug and fix!
Contact Information:
Christine C. McDonald
636-487-8986
Christine.CryPurple@gmail.com
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Through The Eyes of Grace – Christine C McDonald
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