Archive for homeless

Defining “Homeless”… Christine McDonald

Posted in #PaulthePoke, Christine "Clarity" McDonald with tags , , , , on March 16, 2023 by paulthepoke

I have some special considerations for faith–based service providers, be it shelters, feeding lines, or residential programs. I want you to consider some of the things that I, as a former homeless individual, want to express, and an example or two of lived experiences that will be helpful for you to consider along with your programs.

The term “homeless” seems to have various meanings depending on whom you ask.

For those of us who have lived without any shelter, without a means to eat, safely sleep, clean up, change clothes, or even go to the bathroom, we mean the term quite literally.

Some people, however, think that sleeping in their car, crashing on a buddy’s couch for any length of time, or living in transitional housing is also being “homeless.”

Even now it baffles me when someone says, “I was homeless, too. I had to live in my car for two weeks.”

Or, “I was homeless once. I had to sleep on the couch in my friend’s basement.”

Or, “I was homeless. I lived in a transitional program.”

Another one I’ve heard is, “I was homeless for six months, and I had to live in a hotel and did not have a car. I had to drive a rental.”

This isn’t the kind of homelessness I endured.

My definition of homeless includes my own experiences of climbing in a dumpster to relieve myself, or sneaking into someone’s yard to use their hose just to get a drink or to wash off. It includes washing off in a public fountain, and stealing half–eaten food off the table at a restaurant because I didn’t feel safe standing in line at the local soup kitchen, especially when the majority of partakers there were male and I was a known prostitute.

I often feel that much of the world, or at least those in our Western culture, don’t understand constantly being on the move because it’s safer. I don’t think general American society understands having to walk all day, stand all night, or sometimes get high just to ward off the hunger or to stay awake a few hours longer because you don’t have a safe place to sleep.

The inherent dangers of this level of homelessness must be truly understood in order to be addressed properly.

Safety and security are often tied with hunger when it comes to a person’s most basic needs. Just because we offer a “shelter” or “temporary housing” doesn’t mean that a person who is truly homeless will take advantage of the opportunity if they feel safer on the streets.

Many shelters offer no protection for those seeking services, and the ones that would be a good place to stay often come with so many strings attached that a person who has been homeless for any length of time may not ever be able to qualify for a bed.

The blocks surrounding shelters are also often “hangout” areas for drug dealers, pimps, and predators watching for their next victim, so individuals frequently steer clear of these places because of the risks they take just walking to them, or in the mornings when exiting them.

Contact Information:
Christine C. McDonald
636-487-8986
https://iwillriseproject.com/

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

Setting the Stage for Kindness… Christine McDonald

Posted in #PaulthePoke, Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 20, 2021 by paulthepoke
shallow focus photography of cafe late
Photo by Kevin Menajang on Pexels.com

Continuing the series… If you are an outreach person or a drop–in center worker and have random encounters, it will take many encounters with the same person to build a relationship of trust. Here is a guide and process you can go through at the intake stage that will help set the stage for an organic relationship of kindness.

You are building a relationship organically and verbally, recognizing that they are hurting by offering tissues, water, and maybe special treats that aren’t usually readily available to them. They are seeing you show acts of compassion and kindness. Ask them if they would like to take five minutes before you move on in order to eat or drink and just allow them to breathe. Ask them if they would like you to leave the room for a few minutes, or if they would like you to stay.

Instead of leading off with hugs, try loving the hurting individual by serving them with kindness and a bit of hospitality. For example, you could lead with, “I understand this is difficult; may I get you a cup of tea? Soda?” Keep candy bars in your desk, in a bag, in your car, or in your purse for times like these. A little chocolate, a cup of tea, and a box of tissues can go a long way in helping the person have their space and be allowed to feel what they are experiencing.

Conversations

Don’t force conversations. Instead, ask them after you have given them some time if they would like to talk about anything. Fight the urge to engage further. After all, at this moment of the intake, you are just getting them to open up to a relationship. Don’t force things too early. Don’t probe to get them to talk just because you have a heart that wants to help and is ready to listen. They might not be ready to talk. Although your heart may hurt, you are going to have to fight the urge to hug them and tell them it will be okay. Just remember we are setting the stage for an organic relationship built by the participant, not filling your need to hug and fix!

Contact Information:
Christine C. McDonald
636-487-8986
Christine.CryPurple@gmail.com

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

Through The Eyes of Grace – Christine C McDonald

Brown Bag Friday’s… Christine McDonald

Posted in #PaulthePoke, Christine "Clarity" McDonald with tags , , , on April 9, 2021 by paulthepoke

…I sat in a meeting listening to their plans to reach out to the community. At last I had a moment to speak. I asked, “What about the homeless, the addicts, and the prostitutes who exist outside here along this street?” And that’s where it began.

We started Brown Bag Fridays. We took sandwiches, sometimes burritos, and sometimes $1.00 double cheeseburgers. We would drive up and down the streets of the area and ask if they were hungry. Rarely did anyone say no! But in the rare event that they did say no, we would say, “You can always save it for later,” and they would take it.

We expanded, collecting coats and jackets and socks. We would go out on Christmas Eve and pass out goodie bags and food. On Thanksgiving, we would put together a hot Thanksgiving meal and drive up and down the streets, giving out hot meals.

This was my passion, my calling. I knew it. I knew in my heart that these folks needed us. They would at least eat when we came through.

I would often meet up with my friends, the people I had coexisted with on the streets. My journey on the streets, through all those years, gave me an understanding of their lifestyle. I could empathize with them and understand their needs. I had walked in their shoes and had survived. Now I was filling a need, helping these people to not feel invisible, the way I had all those years. How many times had I wished, even prayed, for someone to pull up beside me and hand me food, with no strings attached? How many times had I wished that someone would help me without preaching at me first, not turn me away for having no shoes? Now I had this huge passion for acceptance, to see those people accepted right where they were.

By this point I was totally blind, completely without sight. I heard her voice. It was her, my nemesis. On three different occasions with three different pimps, we had both worked for the same guy at the same time.

I thought, What will I do? I am blind. I can’t defend myself! My heart raced.

She called me, using my street name, “Hey, Ellie! I’m so glad to see you. I’ve been waiting for you. I’m starved.”

I handed her two sack lunches, and she said thanks. Then she hugged me and kissed my cheek, and said she loved me. She thanked me again.

This is what I had seen in my vision. Those were the words I had heard 17 months prior. The church, my church, was the very church where I had been invited in all those years ago, the only one of those three churches that never ran me off or made me feel unwelcome.

Again, seeing it all brought full circle as I look back through the years, I see that God was always preparing a place for me. God knew the journey I would take, and He knew how it would be used for His Glory.

No matter what your story, no matter what your past, God is preparing a place for you. He knows the journey you have taken and will take. He knows how it will be used for
His glory.

Contact Information:
Christine C. McDonald
636-487-8986
Christine.CryPurple@gmail.com

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

Through The Eyes of Grace – Christine C McDonald 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEj5RbFpuzjx_CuksAqgyXA/featured

https://crypurplemovie.com/

I Know I Am a Sinner… Christine McDonald

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald with tags , , , , , on October 11, 2019 by paulthepoke

I had heard of a God who was condemning. I knew I was going to burn in Hell for all my wickedness. I was full of shame and guilt. I was homeless. I was addicted. I was a prostitute. I was lost in darkness, wandering in my own wilderness. I was well aware of my brokenness. For real, I had heard this message before.

I felt shameful and dirty, things I already felt on my own. I didn’t need to hear these things from “those people”—the people who had a shower, who had shoes, who had a home. I didn’t need to hear it from those who did their good deed of scooping food on our trays, leaving them feeling a bit better about themselves. While these things were free, they still cost so much for us; the burden of the shame was equal to bags full of gold.

The last thing any of us needed was confirmation of how messed up our lives were. Believe it or not, we were all well aware of our brokenness, our bondage, our chains that gripped so cripplingly tight. I often went many days without food solely because I could not handle the damnation preached so hard and heavy at the soup kitchen mere blocks from where I existed.

The preaching required in order to receive the food that was needed to sustain life, human life, was a binding string. I left feeling judged and condemned. The last thing I wanted was a relationship with a God who was so grand that He judged harshly. Frequently we would leave talking about how painful it was to just get food. Food was successful at physically bringing us in, but the price—judgment—pushed us away in spirit. Many times, the prayers spoken over us were to remove the demons from us, rather than prayers for safety or hope or peace.

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

https://crypurplemovie.com/

My Purple Flowers… Christine McDonald

Posted in #PaulthePoke, Christine "Clarity" McDonald with tags , on May 10, 2019 by paulthepoke

While I was walking along, keeping an eye out for a spigot, I saw some beautiful flowers in a yard behind a fence. Knowing that the owners must have a water hose around somewhere—and drawn by the flowers—I climbed over the fence. I just wanted to smell them at first. Then I saw the butterflies fluttering around and saw the sparkles from the morning dew, like tiny pearls on the petals. It was all so beautiful: the rich mixture of colors, so bright, with the lush, vibrant green grass that blanketed the ground in front of the flower bed. So I walked over and began picking
some flowers of each color: a red one, a blue one, a yellow one, and a few purple ones. The purple seemed so calm, so peaceful and rich.

As I was picking them, a man came out from the house with a phone in his hands. He was yelling, and he had an accent. “Get away!” he said. “I’m calling the police! Get away from my house!”

I had spotted the water hose, and I was thinking about how badly I needed that drink of water. But I realized the man would not let me near it.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and headed for the gate, with the man still yelling at me about my trespassing in his yard and picking his flowers. I still had them in my hand, and I dropped them by the fence as I exited the yard. I turned as he yelled once again that he was calling the police.

“I’m homeless,” I said. Then it hit me that I was barefoot, that I was standing in the cool of the grass, and that his flowers were beautiful. “I don’t see much beautiful stuff,” I said, and then I started walking again.

I realized then that he had stopped yelling at me. In fact, I heard him behind me, saying, “Hey, lady.” I turned, thinking for sure that the police had arrived at his house to arrest me for trespassing. Instead, I saw that he was holding the flowers I had dropped. He handed them to me.

I smiled and said thanks. He made eye contact with me very briefly, as if for a moment connecting with my humanity, something that happened so rarely for someone like me. And then he looked down. When he looked at me again, it was with a stern glare.

“Now go,” he said, “and stay out of my yard.”

I walked with those flowers, smelling them along the way—the smell so sweet, so fresh, and so pure—looking at the bright colors against my hands, which were riddled with open sores and blisters. My hands were so dirty, so
dark, but the purple stood out against them, so vibrant, clear, and bright. The color itself seemed to shout happiness and goodness. The brilliant colors of the petals across my blackened, filthy flesh were so beautiful, and the smell was so fragrant and sweet!

That day in the sunshine, I slid the flowers behind my ears as I walked to the corner where a trick was waiting, flashing his brake lights as a signal for me. My beautiful moment was over; it was back to my reality.

Exploiting Vulnerability… Christine McDonald

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture with tags , , , , , , on March 16, 2019 by paulthepoke

The vulnerabilities of others are exploited. These “helping hands” pose as if they are doing a good deed. Yet they exploit the disparity of the poverty of others by paying them a pittance for their labor. They get cheap labor, yet can rest their heads in peace at night because they have done their “good deed” in “helping the homeless.” I have to question the motives. They are not facilitating a chance to break the chains of oppression and poverty that bind these human beings. They are perpetuating them.

By definition, the exploitation of the vulnerabilities of those who have not by those who have is trafficking, whether labor trafficking or sex trafficking. They are exploiting the tough circumstances of poverty, homelessness, maybe mental illness and addiction, for their gain, which is cheap labor or perverted pleasure.

We have to acknowledge the intersection between poverty and homelessness as a place of vulnerability. It puts such individuals on a platform to be trafficked. Males are often labor trafficked, and females fall victim to sex trafficking. The victims often don’t even realize what is truly happening at the time. This is part of the cold injustice of trafficking.

We cannot continue to turn a blind eye to this population. We cannot ignore that they are a target of traffickers who seek victims to exploit for their financial or selfish gain. We must start by recognizing trafficking and exploitation for what they are. Asking another human being to work for less pay than someone else simply because they are poor, homeless, and without other options is labor trafficking, and it is wrong. And asking another human being to perform sexual deeds in order to meet their basic human needs—the needs every person should be entitled to—is sex trafficking, and it is nothing short of grotesque.

Every person is a human being made in the image of God. No matter how desperate a person may be, he or she is not a commodity to be used!

https://www.gofundme.com/crypurplemovie

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

https://crypurplemovie.com/

Precious in HIS Sight

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture with tags , , , , , , , on November 16, 2018 by paulthepoke

Christine McDonaldChristine has assisted in writing Federal legislation for block grant dollars to states for Substance Abuse.

Our culture ascribes value to people based on a million things that are never listed or mentioned in the Bible as qualifiers for God’s grace and love. We can have compassion for all of the hurting we encounter. I pray that we are challenged to look, not at the behaviors of the moment, but at the people beneath. I hope we dig a little deeper and begin to fight for people.

Instead of passing judgment on the spot, what if we simply asked, “How did this individual get here, right here at this moment in time?” Then we could ask, “God, what would you have me see and do for this individual, right here at this moment in time?”

To be like Christ, we must look beyond the shell; then we will see a hurting individual and not just a label. Labeling can be just as damning as the objectification practiced by the buyers of sex. Let me reiterate: We are as guilty of objectification and commodifying people as the buyers of sex are when we accept and view people according to labels: “prostitute”, “addict”, “disturbed”, “criminal”, etc. I could continue the list, but I think you get the picture here.

homeless eyes

We must look past the classification to the created person. God knows each one of us so well that He knows the numbers of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30), so don’t you think He probably knows that guy on the street by name and not as “the addict?”

How do we look beyond the shell? How do we see beneath the surface of those we have a heart for? We have to be intentional, asking God to reveal this to us. We have to be humbled and willing to be uncomfortable.

What can we do? How can we change this? We have to get educated! We have to ask the right questions! And we, as a community, have to shift our views from criminal to hurting individuals for these populations!

Let’s hope eyes will be opened to see these individuals through new eyes, so that together we can make a real difference.

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

Read more at…

Human Trafficking, Up Close & Personal

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 17, 2018 by paulthepoke

Colossians 4:5–6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Christine McDonald

Featuring Christine Clarity McDonald

Christine has been recognized by the Missouri House of Representative for outstanding civil service in the state of Missouri. She is an advocate for Mental Health Champions.

Human trafficking is a topic that has been making its way into the mainstream over the last several years. The awareness of this issue is greatly rising, and that is certainly good. As awareness about human trafficking and other marginalized populations—such as the homeless, addicted, and mentally ill—has risen, so has the impulse to address these real problems. People want to know how to help. They want to make a difference.

I have read a number of books about how to help the homeless, the commercially exploited, the prostituted, and those generally marginalized. Some have been written by authors who share their own journey out of these places of darkness and hopelessness. The majority, however, have not.

Most of the literature that exists in this field fails to inform and educate people from an insider perspective. The authors of most of these books do not write from personal experience. They haven’t felt the desperation of trying to find something to grasp hold of to continue living. They haven’t faced the barriers put up by service providers that prevent them from receiving services. They haven’t experienced the social and spiritual disenfranchisements that can occur. While they are well–meaning, I haven’t found these particular books accurate in their depictions, nor were their “helping” suggestions all that helpful.

Human_Trafficking_0

The need for something more true–to–life has stirred in my heart. It is something I have prayed about often. Perhaps a book on this subject should be written by someone who has walked in the very shoes of those we are trying to help. If we can see and understand the journeys the forgotten and overlooked have walked, then we can better understand the rejection, hurt, and struggles they face when people attempt to reach out to them.

And so I find myself writing this book, sharing pieces of my journey and the stories of others I encountered on my journey, to help the world better understand the thoughts, feelings, and struggles of those who have been exploited and marginalized in our society.

“Love your neighbor… ALL of ’em!” -Christine “Clarity” McDonald

Read more at…

 

Be Living Water

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2018 by paulthepoke

Matthew 25:35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me… -Jesus

Christine McDonald

Featuring Christine “Clarity” McDonald

Christine is a Member of the Missouri State Advisory Council for Behavioral Health & Substance Disorders.

Trigger warning. Do you see them? The unseen all around you?

So yesterday we did street outreach. Every time I hear these words from women when I offer them food…

“I am starving, I have not eaten in days” or “I have been trying to figure out when I was gonna be able to eat again.”

I hear the almost tears as they say thank you for the food. I continually pray I never forget all those years I was hungry. I was just wanting someone to see me, to see my pain, see my hopelessness, my longing to be cared about. I just wanted my simple humanity to be noticed.

There are times when we all want to slip into crowds unnoticed. But there is still a part of us that deeply longs to be known and seen and cared for. Jesus offers this to believers. Being known by the Creator of the Universe is the most profound “knowing” we could possibly experience.

However, the world around us is full of broken individuals who feel invisible because they don’t yet know Christ. The rest of humanity either ignores them or only sees them when they can be used.

water well

In John Chapter 4, we read the story of Jesus and his conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well. The most profound aspect of the story isn’t that Jesus calls her out for being married multiple times. Nor is it that He knows that the man she is currently living with isn’t her husband. What is profound is that He truly knew her. He saw her. Because Jesus was able to see her. When He offered her living water, she believed.

We claim to feel moved by the hurts and sufferings of others. Yet we fail to truly see those who are hurting as individuals. Our efforts to relieve suffering or bring healing fail. Sometimes, such efforts even do more harm.

God doesn’t ask us to take on the world, but to offer the world hope. We are His ambassadors to a hurting world. Being intentional and thoughtful in our interactions can go a long way in offering hope to those in our sphere of influence. What if we open our hearts to Him? Let Him help us see those around us as He does.

Each and every soul on this planet was fearfully and wonderfully made. Each one is a treasure to the One we love most. He is calling us to see them as precious treasures too.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

 

“Love your neighbor… ALL of ’em!” -Christine “Clarity” McDonald

Introducing Christine “Clarity” McDonald

Posted in Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture with tags , , , , , , on May 25, 2018 by paulthepoke

Christine McDonaldProstitute. Addict. Homeless. Criminal. Christine “Clarity” McDonald, survivor of human trafficking and author of the memoir Cry Purple, challenges the biases and assumptions we commonly hold about exploited and marginalized populations. Through stories of her own lived experiences, Scripture, thought-provoking commentary, and practical resources, she unveils the humanity of these individuals and helps us to see them through the eyes of Jesus — eyes of grace. In helping us see the humanity of those we often judge or shun, she empowers us to instead reach out with arms of love and a message of hope.

 

Yes, I won’t lie. It makes me feel some kind of way when you are connecting with your Christian circles. You are hurting or in need. And they say, “Everything happens for a reason.” There is a time for that conversation. Sometimes we just need to share empathy… and allow one another to hurt. -Christine “Clarity” McDonald


Christians: When someone has tragedy and your response is “everything happens for a reason,” you make God sound like an asshole. Stop saying that. Not everything that happens is God’s will. He’s not an asshole. -Anny Donewald, CEO & Founder at Eve’s Angels

 

 

 

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