Revelation 1:7 Behold, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him, even those who pierced Him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of Him. Even so. Amen.
Every Sunday morning he’d pull up. I always watched for his car. He was always in his suit with gospel music playing and a Bible in the passenger seat. He’d roll down his window and say, “You don’t have any dope on you, right? You know I don’t want that stuff in my car.” Then he’d say, as I opened the door, “No smoking cigarettes, either. No smoking in my car. This is the Lord’s Day.”
I knew the deal. I mean, every Sunday morning there he was. He’d say, “Your money is in the ashtray.” The ashtray was clean, holding only a crisp 20 and a 5 folded up together, and a piece of mint gum every time. That was for afterwards.
He’d sing his praises to the Lord as we drove to his favorite spot, and he’d remind me that there was an extra 10 in the visor if I “swallowed.” We’d park, he’d pray, and then he’d remind me he had to hurry because he had to make it to church. He was a pastor.
He’d always share with me the sermon topic of the day. We would do our business and he’d let me know when I could have my gum. He’d always rush back because he had left the wife at home to wash the car before church, so we had to hurry it up. His car was always spotted with water from the car wash down the street.
Often I’d see him drive past me again later, with his wife and family members in the car, on his way to preach the Word of God. He’d tell me how sinful drugs were, yet he paid for sex as a married man, a preacher in the church. He would remind me of my sins as he dropped me off.
In the eyes of fellow humans, I suppose there wasn’t too great a disparity between his actions and mine. However, if I understand the Bible correctly, God tells us that there is a tremendous disparity. As a man of God, this pastor had a duty not to mislead the children of God.
In Matthew 18, Jesus tells us about the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven, and He is saying that we must become like little children in our faith. Then He says this, in verse 6: “But if you cause one of these little ones who trust in Me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
These types of spiritual disenfranchisement make it difficult for people to understand God and a loving Christ. For those who experienced things like this in our lives, this “man of God” is just the same as the rest of the men who paid to rape and violate us—the exact same as every other man who degraded us and used us for their gratifications.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Isaiah 29:20 For the ruthless shall come to nothing and the scoffer cease, and all who watch to do evil shall be cut off…
I read somewhere that an individual’s mental and emotional psyche can be altered and changed forever in as little as 72 hours under the right conditions, such as sleep deprivation, food deprivation, and violence (or the perceived threats of violence) intertwined with random acts of kindness. A lot can happen in 72 hours that can affect an entire lifetime.
It was a scorching hot summer day. I had been standing on the corner through most of the heat of the day. I’d taken my shoes off blocks before as I was walking up and down the Avenue in the hope that someone would pick me up. My hair had been uncombed for days, if not weeks. I’d also been without a bath for a long time. Flies swarmed around me. It was too hot even to think about my hunger. By now I was hoping I might even make it to jail for a shower and some sleep.
Finally, a guy in a fancy new truck pulled up next to me. He was in his mid–to–late thirties, and he had a warm smile. He made eye contact, his teeth were straight and white, and his face was clean–shaven. His clothes were nice, and his hands were clean.
He rolled his window down. “You hot?” he asked. His voice was mild and soft. He held out a bottle of water. The air–conditioning from the truck felt cool. So I got in. I drank the water. He asked what kind of music I liked, and if I was hungry. At the time I was just hot and thirsty. I poured water on some napkins and wiped my face and hands clean as we drove.
He gave me 20 bucks. “That’s for food,” he said, “No strings attached.” Then he handed me a $50 bill and said, “This is for our date.” He said he would find a shady place to park, and noted that he was in a hurry. He said he was between meetings for work, so we drove to the cemetery down the street and parked under a tree.
…The zip ties grew tighter. He grabbed my hair and put strips of tape across my eyes and across my mouth. He threw a blanket or something over me as he used his hand to force me farther down on the floorboard. He spoke calmly, “The more you move, the tighter those zip ties will be. We have a long drive, and I’d hate for you to cut off your circulation before we arrive at our destination.”
My ankles still had multiple zip ties on each. Whenever I moved, I felt them grow tighter. As for my hands, he readjusted the ties so that they were zip tied in front instead of behind my back. “Thanks,” I said. I was crying. I was scared.
“You know,” he said, “you could live through this.” Then there was deafening silence.
…I could hardly get my legs to hold me up. I was shaking uncontrollably from pain and fear. When he returned, I smelled fire, and figured he planned to leave me there to die. Then there was the burn, the searing pain. I smelled my burning flesh. At last it stopped and he left. I had been branded like a piece of cattle.
I was unable to hold my body weight; my legs had given way. I was still taped and strapped to the table. He returned and threw what must have been large buckets of water on me. Then he moved me and locked me up again. Somehow, I found sleep. When I woke my eyes were still taped shut, and my clothes were dry.
He proceeded to zip tie my legs and carry me out. I had no idea what he would do next. He put me in the truck on the floorboard of the passenger side, covering me with a blanket. We drove. “Are you scared?” he asked. I nodded my head yes. Then he asked me if I wanted to die. By now I was sure that days had passed since the beginning of this whole ordeal. I hurt so much, and I was scared.
“It’s your lucky day,” he said. “I’m going to let you live. But I know how to find you.” He told me he had been watching me for weeks, and he knew no one would come looking for me. He even told me about some of the cars I had been in and some of the corners I had stood on. He even knew the last day I had changed clothes. I was terrified.
We drove on and on. When we stopped, he said he was going to untape me and let me out, but he would find me and kill me if I said anything to anyone.
By the time he removed all the tape, it was dark. We were in that old, empty, closed cemetery where the nightmare had started, blocks from anyone. He shoved me out of the truck. My legs were shaking from pain, and my face was raw from the rip of the tape. I felt air on my skin once again after days with the tape across my eyes and mouth. I began wiping the oozy, caked–on crust from my eyelashes, squinting at the brightness of the lights. Then I saw he had no license plate on the back of the truck.
I began walking back to the Avenue, my hands in the pockets of the sweat pants he had put on me. I realized then that he had put the money he had given me at the beginning of this ordeal in the pockets: the $50 and $20 bills.
I walked past an open gas station and grabbed some food, a soda, and some ibuprofen. I called my dope dealer to pick me up and give me a ride the rest of the way. Getting high would ease the pain, remove the fear, and once again be the coping mechanism that my life seemed to dangle by.
I had survived another nightmare. I had endured another buyer of sex who sought a victim to act out his fetishes with. I had been reduced to an object without emotions or feelings once again. I had been dehumanized, objectified, and tortured for another person’s pleasures.
But remember: He had looked like one of the good guys.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Christine works for legislative change in Missouri metropolitans.
Caution, adult content.
It was Christmas morning in the late ’90s. I had showered on Christmas Eve, at a house that had no electricity and no heat, but had running water. I had grabbed a fresh change of clothes at the local thrift store on Truman Road in Kansas City. I changed outside in the parking lot between the dumpsters, tossing the dirty clothes I had worn for the last four, maybe five, days.
There were always folks willing to buy sex on Christmas. Men “treating themselves to a Christmas gift.” Men thinking that if they buy sex on Christmas they are giving a “gift” to the prostituted. Such men dared not divulge their perversities to those they were in a relationship with or married to. Instead, they “gifted” their twisted sexual desires or fetishes as a selfish gift to themselves and supposedly a generous gift to their prostitute of choice. They paid a prostitute on Christmas to indulge their perversion.
I saw the bright red car heading my way. I made it to the corner and turned to walk up the block when he turned again. As I approached the street that ran behind Apple Market, he sat there waiting in his shiny sports car. He backed up slowly, rolled down the passenger window and smiled. “Get in,” he said.
As I stepped into the car, he reached his arm toward the back seat. I paused hesitantly with the car door still open, watching intently to see what he was reaching for before getting completely in the car. He pulled out a single rose. I closed the door as he handed it to me. I looked at him and back at the rose and said, “Thanks.” We drove off.
He asked if I was hungry, and I said, “Yes.” He said, “Let’s get you some food first, okay?” I said, “Sure.” We drove to a few places close by, but they were closed.
I smelled the rose and touched the petals. They were soft and beautiful against the stark winter landscape. Looking at the rose, he said, “The 7–11 where I got that is open. Shall we just go there to get you some food?” I agreed. I made nachos, piling on as much chili and cheese as the paper container would hold. I grabbed a bottle of OJ and a lighter and met him at the counter.
He asked if I needed cigarettes, and I said, “No, I don’t smoke.” He glanced at the lighter I was sliding in my jeans pocket, but he did not probe further and I did not offer an explanation of my addiction. We got back in the car and I thanked him. He encouraged me to go ahead and eat. He continued driving around the area where he had picked me up.
Then he said, “I saw you out last night. You’ve changed clothes since then, and you look nice.” I thanked him while thinking to myself, small talk? Really? But at least he was kind. As I finished up my food, I thanked him for letting me eat first.
“Okay, now let’s talk business,” I said. He reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a crisp $100 bill. He said, “We’re both alone on Christmas, but I have a home to go to, a warm place.” He nodded toward the hundred dollar bill in my hand. “That’s yours. Can I give you a lift to a hotel so you can have a warm place?”
The curious driver spoke again. “Well, why don’t you tell me where you would like me to drop you off so you won’t have to walk any more than you have to? It’s the least I can do. It’s a holiday, and all. I know it’s not much, but I really don’t want to take you to a dope house or anything like that, if you don’t mind.”
That’s when I realized he was giving me the money expecting nothing in return. Perplexed, I asked, “So you’re just giving me a hundred bucks and going about your business?” He smiled at me and said, “Yes, I am.” I clarified, “You don’t want anything. For real?” He said, “No I don’t. I guess you don’t get that much, huh?”
I just sat there trying to process it and finally answered, “No. No I do not.”
On this day, however, this prostituted woman would not have to have a man put his hands on her. This moment was like a miracle: no one touching me, no one pawing me.
A day of, what felt to me at that moment, freedom. A state of being that rarely found its place on my journey of life. On that blustery winter day, that gift of freedom, the connection to me as a human and not an object, was the best Christmas gift I had ever received, maybe in my entire lifetime.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
The Right Reverend Michael Curry, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of North Carolina, interviews Christine McDonald, author of Cry Purple (crypurple.com) and an advocate for survivors of sex trafficking, about what we can do to combat trafficking.
Filming for Christine’s autobiographical movie “Cry Purple” started October 2018. Coming soon to a theater near you.
Matthew 1:5-6, 16 and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse,and Jesse the father of David the king… of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Psalm 116:5 Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful.
Psalm 86:15 But You, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in loving devotion and truth.
Featuring Christine Clarity McDonald
Finally, let’s touch on the way age factors into people’s categorizations of “worthy versus unworthy victims.” They say the average prostituted person’s life span in the life of prostitution is seven years. If they make it the full seven years, they often end up dead from drug overdose, suicide, or murder. Only a small percent of these individuals will find a way out.
It is also said that the average age of entry into prostitution is around 13. Think about it. If a 13–year–old becomes a prostituted individual and survives seven years, they would only be 20 years old. We, as a society, see a youth in this awful life as a victim, but once they make it to 18, we expect them to somehow break the mental, emotional, and traumatic chains of prostitution and walk away. Once an individual crosses the invisible line of “adulthood,” we no longer view them as victims but as criminals. All compassion or awareness of the horrors they endure seems to disappear at that magical age of 18. Yet it is so much more complicated than that.
As I see it, the longer they are in it, the more trauma they have endured and the deeper the hurt. Yet because they didn’t recover at age 15, we say “screw them” when they are 19, or 22, or 36, or older and trying to find a way out. That is not okay. Think about it: Does God place an age limit on His grace in our lives? No, He does not. However, this is not how the majority of our society sees it.
Why is that? Who are we, as a society, as people of faith, and as service providers to determine what age someone is recoverable to begin their healing process? If God sustained them three days, three years, or 33 years in a horrific life of commercial sexual exploitation, then perhaps we should embrace God’s love for them and reflect that love as His children to His children.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Revelation 18:11, 13b And the merchants of the earth weep and mourn for her, since no one buys their cargo anymore… and slaves, that is, human souls.
Featuring Christine Clarity McDonald
Filming for Christine’s autobiographical movie “Cry Purple” started this month, October 2018. Coming soon to a theater near you.
Prostituted individuals are not only bound by their exploiters, their possible addictions, and the purchasers (those willing to objectify them for their own sexual desires); they are also bound by the biases and judgments that we hold over them.
A human being pays for the possession of another’s body—maybe for moments or for hours. A living, breathing person with a history, a family, a story, feelings, and thoughts is purchased and ruled over, objectified, and commodified. The purchaser knows that their money brings the power to get what they want. It’s a sick issue of
dominating control, as I see it.
But is that how we are used to thinking of it? Stop for a moment and evaluate your own reaction. What comes to mind when you hear the word prostitute? Are the terms that pop into your mind filled with love, grace, and genuine sorrow? Or are they filled with judgment, disdain, and a “got–what–he/she–deserved” mentality? Do you picture the victim of unspeakable injustice, or do you picture a criminal?
1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
Featuring Christine Clarity McDonald
Christine works for legislative change in Missouri metro areas and across the state.
Regardless of how a person ends up in prostitution, one fact is for certain: the purchasers and predators possess the power. Prostitution exists because a demand for sex exists, because purchasers are willing to pay for it. And predators are willing to procure it.
Would you be surprised to know that the purchasers (commonly referred to as the “johns”) tend to be mostly upper middle class, married men? Most are educated. This stands in stark contrast to the position of those being sold. It is, no doubt, a power play.
It is not just the purchasers who are the problem. Ultimately, it’s a story of predators seeking the vulnerable, the weak, the impoverished—the ones others have forgotten. There is an equal evil in those who see people strictly as a product to be sold. These predators home in on their targets, invest time to build trust, and lay a foundation of control. They are often in no hurry, as they know it is an investment. Just as a hunter lies quietly waiting for his kill, a trafficker invests time waiting for the key moment to expose the reality of what he is. By then, it is too late for the prey.
With all of these factors combined, once a person is in the world of prostitution, there is little chance of a way out. They are stuck, at the mercy of greedy individuals who look at them as objects of selfish pleasure and plump coffers. To be stuck in a situation with little (or no) power to get out is to be the victim, not the perpetrator,
regardless of how you arrived there in the first place.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Christine has helped author Federal block grant dollars to states for substance abuse.
Joshua 6:17 And the city and all that is within it shall be devoted to the Lord for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers whom we sent.
Prostitution: Is it the oldest profession? Or, perhaps more accurately, the oldest oppression of women? I am very sure that the farmers of the times existed before the prostitutes.
The narrative is age–old: those with power wielding their power over the powerless, taking another human being’s sexuality as a product for the purchasing for their own pleasure, casting them aside when they are done.
Not only do the oppressors, the predators, the purchasers cast these individuals side, but so does the rest of society. They are deemed unwanted. Inferior. Expendable. Forgotten.
Photo: Girls Globe
Such people are the unseen backdrop of our world. They are all around you. In the drugstore. On the street corner. At the abortion clinic. Hurting, pleading, silently begging someone to notice, someone to care, someone to offer hope. But most people don’t see them. And when they do see them, instead of offering hope, they offer judgment. Instead of caring, they look with disdain. Instead of reaching out, they turn away.
It is our judgment of these individuals that gives programs, government, and even churches the power to walk away. People take vocal stances that further stigmatize and bury these individuals beneath labels—yet they do so without understanding the deep complexities of human trafficking. There is a profound disparity between the hopeless and the rest of society. This disparity only perpetuates the cycle and prevents real, impactful intervention.
If we commit to a better understanding of what life can be like for these individuals, maybe we can better connect and embrace people more holistically. Maybe we can look without judgmental eyes and, regardless of age, race, or the form of exploitation suffered, love the hurting with open arms and a mindset that each of us is worthy of safety, hope, love, and grace.
Matthew 1:5-6, 16 and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse,and Jesse the father of David the king… of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Amos 5:21 I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. -God
A few years ago, I operated a street outreach. We went to the streets and parks where I myself had existed for nearly two decades. We took sandwiches and basic hygiene items to the women and men in that area.
I was contacted by a TV news show who wanted to join us. The news crew had done food service during the holidays, but always in an artificial environment. They had never actually gone to the streets where the many who avoided the long feeding lines dwelled.
We brought bean burritos from Taco Bell that night, as well as water and condoms. As I handed the condoms out, the reporter stopped everything. She turned off the microphone.
I knew the deal. I had heard it before from women of faith who had joined us on these outreaches. The ladies who had so much church. I suppose, that they forgot about the human in us all.
I listened as they ranted all the reasons she couldn’t be a part of us giving out condoms. I had heard all the reasons, so I’d just hear them again. My mind raced, thinking maybe she had a new reason. She didn’t; nobody ever did.
“We are promoting their actions of prostitution” or “We can’t promote prostitutes to sell their bodies out here” were reasons commonly cited. But I was geared up and ready. Goodness knows I had given this speech at least fifty times.
If you are one of those individuals who might have concerns about giving out condoms in ministry work, then please continue to read this. Give this a fair shot of thought. Consider for a moment that maybe your moral indignation isn’t as productive as you think it is.
We all know by now that I was prostituted. As a formerly prostituted person, my voice provides a different perspective. During my exploitation, I was rarely in a position to go to the store to purchase condoms. If I was working for my “man” or “pimp,” my priority was to make my funds as fast as I could so I could eat and avoid drama. To state it bluntly, condoms were a luxury I couldn’t afford.
Additionally, it wasn’t uncommon for a trick or John to pay an extra twenty bucks to have sex with you without a condom. Statistics tell us that about 68% of all tricks are married or in a “committed” relationship. Do you think their loved ones at home have any clue they are paying for a prostitute to have sex with them, much less without a condom?
The prostitute might turn twenty dates in a 24-hour period, not to mention the times she has been raped. Keep in mind that her man or pimp has other girls he is having sex with – other prostitutes who are having unprotected sex with many others. Are you doing the math here?
A girlfriend or wife learns she is pregnant, and during this joyous announcement from her doctor she is also informed of another piece of highly unexpected – but far from joyous – news that she is now HIV positive. This is an extra “gift” contracted from her husband or her boyfriend – the john who purchased sex from a prostitute. Of course, this means he is infected as well. So, stop and think of how this woman and her unborn child’s life are forever affected by the man’s urge to purchase sex from a prostitute.
Please note. I am not saying all prostitutes have HIV. I worked the streets for nearly two decades and am HIV free! But I have friends who have died of AIDS and some who live with it daily.
This is yet another reason we must end the purchase of human beings. This cycle of exploitation and suffering affects not only the purchaser and the prostituted individual. There are also innocent victims who are affected who play no role in the event yet end up suffering from it.
If we are truly attempting to connect to the humanity of this complex issue, then offering condoms for the prostituted persons we encounter is not only responsible help; it is loving help. Withholding something that could save a life simply because of our moral objections to its use doesn’t stop the activity. Nor does it convict the buyer or seller of sex. All it does is place additional conditions on love and help, therefore devaluing both love and help until neither is recognizable.
HIV is only one of many damaging effects these acts have on unintended victims. The collateral damage abounds in so many ways we can’t easily see. If we are going to truly help, we must be careful of misapplying our moral objections in ways that further compound, rather than help, the problem.
Our ministry is not only for the buyer and seller, but the unintended victims whose lives can be unknowingly changed forever by someone else’s choice to pay for another human being for their own sexual gratification.
“Love your neighbor… ALL of ’em!” -Christine “Clarity” McDonald
Christine is appointed by the Missouri Attorney General for the Trafficking Task Force.
“For every woman and girl violently attacked, we reduce our humanity. For every woman forced into unprotected sex because men demand this, we destroy dignity and pride. Every woman who has to sell her life for sex we condemn to a lifetime in prison. For every moment we remain silent, we conspire against our women. For every woman infected by HIV, we destroy a generation.” – Nelson Mandela
Collateral damage is what we call the loss, injury or victims incurred by an action or event who were never intended to be involved. Many times, when we venture out in a helping capacity, we have our sights squarely focused on the population we serve. Yet oftentimes, those individuals we serve touch the lives of many we may never encounter.
Compassion and love at their best grow and extend indefinitely. The things we do out of love for others can have a massive ripple effect across time and space. Likewise, the things we don’t do can carry greater, far-reaching ramifications. What if one simple, yet sometimes controversial, moment of service could save a life? Conversely, what if a misapplied moral objection costs a life?
When we consider human trafficking, exploitation, and prostitution, we tend to recognize the purchaser/exploiter as well as the person being used. However, there is another population that is inadvertently affected yet rarely lands on our radar. Sometimes our narrow view of the impact and our tightly-clung-to moral objections have unintended consequences.
When we think of serving and how we serve, the most important thing we can do is put on the love of Christ and remember how much He loves and would give all for just one person. We have to ask ourselves, is making a moral statement that will inevitably be lost more important than the individual?
Jesus was well known in His day for spending His time with those viewed as the biggest “sinners.” When the religious leaders of the day verbally lashed against Him for this, He told a parable about a shepherd who had one hundred beloved sheep and one ran away. In the parable, the shepherd left the 99 to go after the one. The Son of God did not withhold His presence from the “sinners” to make a moral statement. Instead, He left us all with a clear example to follow. He made it crystal clear that every one of those “sinners” was invaluable to Him.
Even while knowing His days were limited, Jesus didn’t spend His time with His family and loved ones. Instead He chose to spend time among the untouchables of His day. And though He – the perfect, Holy, God of the universe – had many moral objections to their actions, He didn’t let those moral objections become the focus or stand in the way of an opportunity to touch their hearts.
“Love your neighbor… ALL of ’em!” -Christine “Clarity” McDonald
Featuring Christine “Clarity” McDonald
