Archive for suicide

Leaving the Street… Christine McDonald

Posted in #PaulthePoke, Christine "Clarity" McDonald, Culture with tags , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2019 by paulthepoke

I rarely share this experience, as it haunts me today in a variety of ways. It is not like the physical trauma that haunts me, such as some of the violence I endured, or the mental anguish of starvation, or the sheer exhaustion of being homeless and the need to continually be on the move. No, this is so different for me.

There was a time in the early ‘90s in Kansas City when I attempted suicide. I was back on the streets, hopeless, and in despair. This was one of my last attempts before I realized I just couldn’t take my own life.

I joined an outpatient treatment group. As part of this program, I would be given an apartment if I went and stayed in a mental health respite home. As you can imagine, drug addiction was really the least of my many demons.

Reuters, Claro Cortes IV

It is difficult to be off the streets yet not have money to get a soda or eat. When providing for yourself is within the scope of your ability, it is hard to refrain from exercising that ability. I had dealt with hunger for such a prolonged period of time because of drugs and poverty. I had lacked the freedom to eat whenever I was hungry, so hunger was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.

I wanted to feel free. I now had a place to sleep and shower daily. Even though meals were provided, having even a couple of dollars in my pocket felt empowering. Just knowing I could buy a soda if I wanted to, or purchase a snack if I was hungry, felt so, so good. It was natural to turn to what I knew so that I could have those dollars that gave me that freedom. For me and others like me, the ability to buy even little things for yourself is a new freedom that, when denied, becomes a trigger, making you desperate to keep that freedom and the ability to choose.

Plus, my value as a human being had been tied to the money I earned as a prostituted person for so long. My only sense of validation of worthiness came from the purchase of my body. As I tried to move beyond shame and find other things to validate my existence, I faced a twisted, deep, internal battle. People wonder why a prostituted person would willfully turn a trick when she finally has food and shelter at her feet. Yet the world of commercial exploitation is multifaceted, and leaving it is more complex than most people could ever possibly imagine.

https://www.gofundme.com/crypurplemovie

“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald

https://crypurplemovie.com/

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Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, Featuring Paul Beverly

Posted in Culture, Our Daily Bread with tags , , , , , on September 2, 2018 by paulthepoke

September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. National Suicide Prevention Week is September 9-15, 2018, with World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10th.

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September is suicide prevention month. Some of you know my story & why this is so close to my heart. I’ve lost friends to suicide. If not for God putting the vision of my children right in front of me, I was seconds away from taking this path. I hear others say that this is the coward’s way out. No, it’s Satan filling your head with self-doubt that you don’t matter anymore. That pain is so very unbearable & hard to take. It is worse than any physical pain ever felt.

Please be there for others going through hard times.  Show them that they matter. Show them you care & love them. Tell them about God’s love. Get them with a Pastor or counselor trained in helping these situations. Get them with me even. I wish every school & church would have programs about this.

Treat everyone with kindness & love because every life matters.

Don’t miss the opportunity to help others, it’s a blessing for them & you.

Hebrews 13:16 Do not neglect to do good & share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Philippians 2:4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Have a helping month my friends!!!

Our Daily Bread… Featuring Paul Beverly

Posted in Our Daily Bread with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 10, 2018 by paulthepoke

Just now seeing that Anthony Bourdain has died from an apparent suicide. This is incredibly sad & proves that you honestly never know what a person is struggling with or feeling on the inside. Even those that are the most successful & seem the happiest have struggles. Depression is so real & so scary. You feel you don’t matter. You feel dying is better than the pain you’re feeling. It’s a disease that puts these false feelings in your brain. I promise, every single person matters & is loved. We as a society need to choose kindness & love way more often in our lives. We can make a difference. I pray everyone can find peace in their lives. RIP Mr Bourdain.

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In a world that is far too often filled with hate & cruelty, I will choose kindness & love. I know how it makes me feel when others treat me with kindness, so I’ll always try to choose to make others feel they matter as well. Let’s make love & kindness contagious.

Proverbs 19:17 Whoever generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Proverbs 11:17 A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.

You’ll always have the choice to be kind, choose it! It doesn’t cost a thing & is so valuable… Have a kind week my friends!!!

Our Daily Bread…Featuring Paul Beverly

Posted in Culture, Our Daily Bread with tags , , , , , on September 11, 2017 by paulthepoke

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Finished the last episode of 13 Reasons Why this morning. I do not believe this show glorifies suicide. It shows the truth. The truth of another person’s pain. The truth of bullying. The truth of rape. I believe every parent & teen should watch this show to understand more about suicide, depression, & pain. A person full of hurt will ask for help in their own way, however subtle it may be. Hopefully we can make it better. That being said, it’s not our job to determine when it’s our time to go, only God has this power in the way things should be. If you’re hurting, please ask for help. You are loved.

Ecclesiastes 7:17 Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?

Have a healing week my friends!!!

PaulthePoke

Prophecy Watch & Bible Study

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