What makes the simple act of shaming or blaming people complicated is the knowledge that they each had a specific history, and the more we know about it, the easier it becomes to understand why they did what they did. —Richard Holloway, Godless Morality
One of God’s greatest gifts to us during times of crisis, struggle, or tragedy is the “family” He places in our life to walk with us. Family isn’t always our blood relatives. Proverbs 17:17 says it best: “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” (NLT)
There are some who use emotional withdrawal as a means of correction or to demonstrate displeasure with a loved one’s actions or choices. Some might think of it as a shunning. If you don’t conform or comply, then you are refused the affection, concern, help, or attention you desire and we all crave.
This mentality raises the question: Is it real love if it so easily and willingly manipulates? Isn’t love unconditional in its gift? This isn’t to say that all actions are approved or all choices are overlooked. But doesn’t real love look like something altogether different than a conditional carrot we dangle and make available only for those who comply?
When Christ laid down His life for this world, it was a free gift. It was given for any who would accept it. He never asks us to get our act together before we accept His love. In fact, His love is what changes us. It shapes and molds us, conforming us more and more to His image. The only condition placed on His love is that we accept it. In fact, if we ignore it, He pursues us still.
If we view love as something that can be taken advantage of, then perhaps we’re going about it all wrong. Love should be so free that it can’t be stolen. Love is the most renewable resource we have. It is priceless, powerful, conquering—it is all the things an evil world would love to harness and put a price on. But it is also incorruptible. The best the world can do, then, is mimic real love. It is this pseudo love that controls, extorts, destroys, dominates, and demands submission from others.
Let’s take a minute to think about those tougher relationships in our lives. Proverbs 18:24 says, “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” (NLT) What kind of friend are we to the world around us, particularly to those who are hurting? Are we willing to get a little mud on our shoes by hanging in there with someone on their worst days? Are we willing to be their voice? To speak their last words and tell their story?
“Love your neighbor, all of ’em.” -Christine Clarity McDonald
Contact Information:
Christine C. McDonald
636-487-8986
Christine.CryPurple@gmail.com
Using manipulation & guilt to control someone doesn’t make that person strong, it makes them an insecure weak jerk. God didn’t make you to be controlled. Do not allow anyone to have that power over you. Control does not equal love.
Your thoughts set the tone for your day. Positive thoughts lead to a happier day. Each positive day makes it easier to have happy days. Your thoughts turn into words which turn into actions. This all affects those around you. Make sure you’re affecting them in a positive way.
